6 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt
Have you ever had to deal with self-doubt? This week has been a particularly hard week for me. I’m not sure if it is because it’s after Thanksgiving, work, the time of the month (oh yes) or a combination of all but I have been really off. I vented to my husband last night about how sad and down I was feeling and I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of self-doubt after our wedding. We were married only just 1 ½ months ago and this should be a happy time right? My husband and I are very happy and we are so excited to be starting this next chapter of our lives together. It’s all the other areas in my life that seem to be total chaos that are bringing me down. If you don’t know already, I am a first grade teacher in Brooklyn. I love my job and my students, but sometimes it’s just too much. I commute over 2 hours a day and I feel that my life is flashing before my eyes. If you think about it, we only have such a short amount of time on this planet so we want to be the happiest we can be right?
With teaching, trying to start a business and being the best wife I can be my self-doubt has got the best of me right now. I am constantly being critical of myself. I compare myself to others all day long and I never think I am good enough. One of the biggest issues I am still facing is my body and dealing with all the extra weight I have added on over the past few years and trying so many different ways to get it off. It’s exhausting. I don’t know why I doubt myself so much, why I compare and why I do this to myself. There is no reason to. I feel I am sabotaging my dreams, my passions, and myself but for what?
I came across a quote on Pinterest that really stuck with me. “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will,” –Karim Seddiki. I love this quote and it is so true. You have to keep going and even if you fail, at least you know you tried and did all you could. Then you get back up, make a new plan, and try again.
Here are a few steps I am taking to overcome self-doubt. If you are ever down and feeling the way I am today, try these strategies and I hope they help you.
1. Don’t compare
Don’t compare yourself to others. You are you. If it takes you longer to achieve your goal, then it takes longer. You are your own person and that is what makes you special and unique. If you continue to compare yourself to others, face it- you won’t ever be happy with who you are. I find myself constantly doing this and I need to knock it off. I am Melissa Crowe. I am not Beyonce, I am not Taylor Swift, I am not anyone else but myself and remembering that is so important.
2. Love yourself
Take time for yourself. You need to love yourself and who you are. Treat yourself! If you haven’t gotten a massage in years, go get one. Get a pedicure, do a spa night at home, do what makes you happy. I enjoy taking time to catch up on a book I haven’t been able to finish, knitting and taking walks by the waterfront. Find what you love and fit it in as often as you can!
Stress plays a huge roll in so many of our lives and it can be very dangerous. I deal with so much stress that I have to remember to take time to clear out the negativity in my life. I really enjoy doing mindfulness and practicing meditation. I do it daily with my first graders and again at home. You’d be surprised at how great it feels to just take a minute, a few deep breaths and start fresh.
To follow up on de-stressing, a good way is to de-clutter your life. My house is a mess. I am always trying to stay on top of it but there are always dishes to be down, laundry to be folded, garbage to be taken out, etc. What are we going to do when we have kids if I can’t keep up with the two of us now?? (sorry freak out moment). I’ve been trying to get myself to daily throw away something I don’t need anymore. Little by little I feel that I’m getting the apartment under control. It feels so much better to have less “things!”
5. Stop Seeking Validation
I don’t know about you, but I always need validation. It can be from the simplest of things and if I don’t get it I get so down on myself. As you know, I love to cook. I am always testing recipes and trying out different combinations and if my husband doesn’t like it, or gives his famous “it’s okay” (which to him really means good) I don’t feel good about myself. I need to make it better and better until it is perfect. We can be so hard on ourselves that we need to remember to have faith and trust in ourselves. You do you.
6. Focus on NOW
Take it one day at a time. Stop thinking about the future so much. All I want is a house, a dog, a car and to be a full time blogger, but I can ‘t have that now. It is going to take time to get there. I currently live in a 600 sq ft. apartment, have no dog, no car and am only just starting my blogging career. You need to remind yourself that you can do your best in the present moment to focus on the task at hand. Right now for me, aside from my job, blogging and weight loss are my goals. I’m taking it one day at a time and know it will be worth the wait some day.
I hope these tips help you and feel free to comment below on how you overcome self-doubt. What gets you out of your funk?